Back...

A year ago...

I went away...for a long time.  I had a baby, had a meltdown, learned how to love and had another meltdown.  I had many, many meltdowns in the past year of my baby's life.

I forgot about this.  I forgot about this blog, where I used to go to write what I needed to write, whenever I needed to write it.  A friend began a blog, which I became a contributor to:  Drink with Aloha.  Go to the "mommy needs a cocktail" posts to find what I've written there.  I might reprint them here, because I like having everything I muse about on one site.

I began a new blog, A Perfect Sip, which was a collection of my recipes and the perfect drink pairings for them.  Then I gave it to my husband, who, along with his friend, began a wine radio show on Hawaii AM radio.  My perfect blog name became their perfect radio podcast name...and that became my life for a little while.  Unfortunately all my past posts are gone...hacked by an evil hacker...recipes, thoughts, musings...gone.  Very sad.  But the site is back up, better than ever, and full of insightful wine podcasts from a Master Sommelier and an Advanced Sommelier.

But this isn't about them.  It's about this.

I missed this.  I forgot about this, forgot about the freedom of writing for myself.  There have been so many times I had something to write about that I couldn't because it didn't fit the genre of the other websites...and I forgot about my beloved Pampers and Patron.  This is what happens when you become a mother - you forget everything except what is in front of you (at least, I do).

I can't remember a damn thing anymore...but I do remember this.  

This.

This makes it all worthwhile, everyday.  Even when he screams for 2 hours straight at 1am, even when I'm so tired I want to gauge my eyes out with a toothpick, even when he bites so hard I bleed...it makes it all worthwhile.  Because he wakes up happy, smiling, and sweet.  Because he big-bear-hugs like the big boy he is.  Because he's the biggest daddy's boy ever, and could spend his life in his daddy's arms and I love watching them.  Because from two funny-looking people came the most beautiful child.  He has his daddy's lips and cheekbones, and my eyes and nose.  But somehow it all works out perfectly.  He stumbles around like a little drunk man, and his first word was "Uh-oh."  He does pull-ups on our oven door.  He tries to give kitty his pacifier, and shares everything with everyone.  He reminded me that I liked sharing my thoughts too.  And then I remembered I had a place to go to share them...and I remembered this.  

And now I'm back.  I'll be seeing you again soon.